Assorted Jokes That I Just Made Up Now

Jokes. Joe Chxs.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Peer pressure. He’s now dead.

I should note the use of the word chicken. *pats self on back*

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Europe.

Europe who?

*breaks down crying*

Yeah, fecal matter is unfunny and not nice to be referred to.

A cat walks into a room and asks “What up dog?”

Ha, pet puns.

Seriously, I’m funnier on the go. Please believe me.

Remember Me, Damn It

Ironically, this post is far from being punctual. My aim for this blog was to post at least once daily. Yup, f-d it from the start and it’s only the 2nd day. What a douche…

I have no particular agenda, so let’s open with a funny thought. Biting into food and it screams a horrifying tone of suffering. That’s funny, because it’s unexpected. It’s like jamming a stick in the spokes of a moving bike, or toddlers tripping over (no, not hurting themselves from it. I’m not that sadistic), but you understand where I’m coming from.

Dad jokes, however, ARE expected as soon as the freakin’ mouth opens, so you know it’ll be very dry, and I’m not talking about the woman that’s sleeping with him after he’s said it.
For example, ‘Biting into food and it screams a horrifying tone of suffering’ would be followed with “well cannibals shouldn’t have sushi then, hueh hueh…” Haha… *socks in face*

Interestingly, a particular sort of juxtaposition humour, if that’s technically what it’s called, is one of my favourite genres of comedy. Please, have listen at joke I say, yes?

So I’m on a bus from down south and these derelicts are pumping tinny, 96kbps rap through their flip Motorola. Not long later, a verbal dispute occurs due to the “yeah, sorry mate, but I f-d ya mum” poetry that’s interrupting everyone’s inner apocalyptic thoughts. “Hey, mate! How ’bout you turn that shit off?” The dropkick then yells “‘ey, brew. Come here and try me, bruz. Ya mum did.” *ongoing profanities and stoner laughter*
The other guy has nothing of it and starts laying into this tool, but has no sign of stopping. Everyone then starts screaming and yell to the bus driver to stop, but he continues on. After sometime, people are crying and the derelict is a bloody pulp. The bus driver is finally arrested.

See? Unexpected AND funny! Ah, comedy…